All posts tagged: parenting

Never say no!

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“Never say no! Never say no!” These are the words I heard my sweet almost six-year-old son recite over and over again first thing this morning.  I went into his room to check on him and to figure out what was going on.  He was still laying in bed, under his covers in his PJs. “Why are you saying that?”  I asked. “Because, today I want to not say no to you,” was his reply.  Then he continued with “Never say no, never say no, etc…” Holy cow.  Mic drop.  For a moment I was stunned. My son, in his very young age motivated me in a way that I haven’t been in a long, long time.  If he can wake up, and first thing in the morning, reign in his thoughts and devote himself to do something out of character in order to have a better day, and help his Mumma have a better day then why the heck can’t I?!  If he has the courage and ability to, without question or hesitation, convince …

The Homeschool Post

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I realized something the other day.  Our homeschooling journey began long before what it would seem.  To some, on the outside looking in, it seems random, and to others it can be rationalized with our move to Hawaii.  But as we approach the end of our first year homeschooling, and we talk about what our options are for the next school year, I have had a lot to think about.  We have asked many questions, and I have had so many memories flood my life.  I think one of the best things we can do as parents is ask questions.  It’s easy to get caught up in the busy-ness, and to just go through the normal systems and institutions and rarely wonder why or how.  I have nothing against the systems and institutions, in many ways I think they are great.  I am not so ignorant to not recognize their benefits and strengths, but I do think it benefits us to sit back and understand the active role we play in our children’s lives.  Whether …

When Perfectionist is a bad thing

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Another parenting post. But perhaps this can apply in many other situations in our lives, whether with people that work for us, spouses, or anything really. I was talking to a friend recently, who gave me some good advice. “Don’t expect your 8 (5, 1) year old, to act older than their age.” I have often been disappointed or frustrated with my children for things that could be considered normal behaviours. Example: I pick up all the couch cushions and pillows off the floor, for the thousandth time this week, the millionth this year, and my toddler within minutes tears them all off again, laughing and finding it to be the best game he’s ever played.  I see the out-of-place pillows; I obsess over the dirt and dust they are rolling around in; my mind is wrought with concern over rips and tears; I get mad.  I have to remind him, AGAIN, that this is not the purpose of the pillows.  I resist the urge to yell “Sage! Stop!” as a last-ditch effort to end …

Throw me a bone

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I wonder, as a mom, how many times in the last few weeks alone, I have asked myself, what am I doing wrong?  I have even recently asked it aloud to a close friend of mine. She gets sassy. What am I doing wrong?  She gets mean to her brothers or friends.  What am I doing wrong?  She is disobedient.  What am I doing wrong?  She challenges all the consequences.  She doesn’t eat.  She ignores me.  She shuts me out. What am I doing wrong?!?! Why is that always where my mind goes?! Last night, I was given a beautiful glimpse of something else. There was a HUGE pile of clothing on my bed that needed folding. After finishing up the dinner cleaning, I remembered about this pile and I sulked upstairs to finish yet ANOTHER chore.  Much to my surprise – this is what I found! Not only was the clothing folded but it was mostly put away.  I asked baby girl if she did that. She told me that she saw I needed …

Missiles and Waimea Valley

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So this morning was, for a few minutes, possibly the most scared I have ever been. We had big plans today, the kids and me.  We were heading to beautiful Waimea Valley for a walk to the waterfall, and then going to do lunch in Hale’iwa and some beach time.  After getting dressed I came down to my kitchen to finish getting ready and checked my phone to see an Emergency Alert about a ballistic missile headed straight for Hawaii.  I was told to take shelter immediately. My toddler was whining and on the verge of throwing one of his ever-so-popular tantrums because I wasn’t responding right away; my five-year-old was playing with his Legos on the counter right next to the kitchen window; and my daughter was upstairs getting ready to leave. What.  The.  [insert four letter word of your choosing here]. I had text messages going with about five different people, mostly military friends, a couple here on the island, a couple not, and my husband who wasn’t home at the time, or …

You can overcome by accepting help

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This morning was a little rough.  But it didn’t have to be. At promptly 6:30 I tried to wake my daughter as we have the last two mornings.  She is like her Mama.  Independent, stubborn, and NOT a morning person.  I wonder if it would be bad parenting to start giving her coffee in the mornings, you know, just a little something to help her through it.  (Calm down, I’m just kidding). I really like my coffee though.  I like it so much, that I usually bring my mug along as is for the morning school ride. We still haven’t received our freight from moving to Hawaii from the mainland.  The lack of to go cups was a problem this morning, because my mug was a little too full, as you can tell from the coffee down the side.  You should have seen my car! There was coffee everywhere.  Which I laughed at. Because laughing is better than cursing, especially in front of the kiddos.  Except my son was not happy because the only thing …

Baby Girl Starts School

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Here she is.  First day of school. Ok, so there’s more to the story. Clearly, she’s not five, and clearly its way past September.  She’s heading to third grade, after spending the first half of the school year homeschooling. I was expecting this huge moment when I dropped her off at her new school.  Like, the most epic hug ever!  Fireworks!  Presents!  Confetti!  The whole works.  But instead, as I pulled up to the staff member who received her from the car line, Natalie simply got unbuckled, said goodbye and exited the vehicle.  I rolled down the window and shouted, “It’s her first day!” The lady smiled and shut the car door. And then I had to drive to make way for the next parent/kiddo drop off. I tried to comment to her brother behind me something like, “there she goes”, but instead I busted out crying. OMG, if me ten years ago saw me this morning there would be some finger pointing and laughing.  And if I am honest, I am still chuckling a …